Too Dirty, Too Early

Things are moving in a whirlwind right now.

I'm doing a lot better from surgery. My doctor was not able to mend my broken sutures, so I'm slowly healing the gash in my side. It doesn't hurt or anything, and apparently I heal very fast.

My home life is up and moving right now. Literally. Caedes wanted to move out closer to work while I wanted to stay nearby where I am now. She moved out yesterday.

Then my landlady notified me she wants to sell her condo and doesn't want to renew the lease, so she called me a week ago and said I needed to find a place by Dec. 15.

So I've had a very frantic and stressful week freaking out and trying to find a suitable place I could afford. Thankfully, I found a 1 bd, 1 bath and it's literally right next door to where I am now! Easiest. Move. EVAR.

And it's got a nice big deck with plenty of sun, so I can have a deck garden come this spring and grow some tomatos, herbs, and maybe other vegetables. Eeeee! Plants galore!

So now I can go on vacation tomorrow for the week with a clear mind. I'm going to go see a very good friend of mine and go to Disneyland for a few days, then spend Thanksgiving with my father and stepfamily who live down there.

I love this time of year.

Woke up this morning to find that I seem to have bust a seam.

I had a hematoma (blood pool) removed from my left breast last week. No big deal, it was only a half hour procedure.

Except my surgical tape over it fell in like a California home built on the San Andreas fault.

I got a nice gash under my left breast about the span and almost the width of my palm.

Interesting, but figured I'd better go to the doctor. They told me to come on in this morning, so I hopped the bus from work and had him take a look.

His comment was "Well, shit."

He said it'd already started healing that way, so he wanted to wait a bit to let it heal some more before he attempted to sew it up. He gave me an Rx for some antibiotic cream to keep it pasted with, and he'll try to sew me back up next Monday.

Meantime, I'm trying not to move around too much and still going to work.

Yesterday was my mother's first Death Day anniversery. Don't have too many feelings on that. I keep being asked if I'm doing ok. I can't honestly say I care much because I didn't like her.

Today our house is sold and gone. Judgements are settled and paid out from Escrow, the new owners have the keys, my brother and I have enough in the bank now for my house and his schooling coming next year (so long as nobody else pops up wanting a peice of the pie). I'm having a whole lot of bittersweet feelings on that. I'm mourning the loss of our house, but I'm grateful it's going to a really nice family that will take care of it and love it. Mom, dad, son and baby sister with a big black lab to bounce and play down by the creek. Shelter them well, my beloved home. I'm so happy joy has come to you again and you were given the respect you deserve now.

My brother is going to make those of us who have worked on this project (me and some of our friends) dinner and crack open a bottle of 25 year old Scotch. I look forward to a drink in our honor.

An era is laid to rest.

"Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in sure and certain hope of the Resurrection into eternal life" ~ Book of Common Prayer

I know I mentioned it a while ago and didn't mention it again, but I was approved for breast reduction surgery. I just had that this morning.

I feel FANTASTIC.

I went this morning and everyone was nice, and I was really looking forward to it. I wasn't really nervous exactly, more worried about how incapacitated and inconvenienced I would be, and how to prepare myself for everything I would need.

Surprisingly, outside of being kinda itchy with one little patch of soreness under my left breast right now, I'm not suffering any pain. I handle Percocet well so that doesn't bother me much. No nausea at all from anesthesia (they put me under heavy sedation instead of general). I have no drains to worry about. I'm just all bound up in a surgical bra that I have to wear 24/7 for about a week.

I'm not allowed to shower till Saturday, but then I can do so without needing to worry about keeping my incisions dry.

They removed all in all around 7 POUNDS off my chest. I've gone from a G cup to about a C cup.

And it feels amazing. I feel immediate relief in my shoulders, back, and neck like I've put down a heavy backpack after all these years. And I can even BREATHE easier. I never realized I wasn't able to take a full breath properly without strain.

I look down at my chest, and it's like the most natural thing in the world to me to see. I feel at peace. My pajama top that used to gape and strained at the button holes, now fits perfectly with all the buttons in place.

I'm SO happy. I definitely made the right decision.

Tis the season to get nesty.

I took Nonny to be cremated this morning and said my goodbyes to my poor baby boy. He's still missed terribly around here.

I've been trying to take better care of myself. I haven't been taking enough time to relax and that's been causing me a lot of problems with my memory and ability to function in life. After I left the vet's office to cheer myself up, I stopped at a farm that had a pumpkin patch and got some great shots with my phone.






It was very peaceful and relaxing out there. Just being able to stand amongst all the pumpkins and sunflowers, smelling the crisp Fall air, looking at the mountains. I picked up some farm fresh apple butter, wild elderberry jelly, fresh cider, and a couple of sugar pie pumpkins to bake with. Then I went and had a good breakfast a little diner. It made me feel a lot better and got me settled in life again. Autumn is my favorite season of year. It makes me feel like a child again, getting excited for Halloween,

I got home and got all domestic. I spent the rest of the afternoon baking, cleaning, doing laundry, and getting a few Autumnish decorations up. The place feels very warm and cozy now.

I'm off to have a pumpkin muffin and a cup of hot chocolate now and watch Disney's Halloween Treat on YouTube.

Major pet peeve of mine: Semantics arguments.

It's the method of the uneducated and control freaks who aren't mature enough to admit they don't know what they are talking about.

Don't tell me "But YOU said..."

I know what I said. You are deliberately missing the point/meaning just so you can keep talking.

It does not make you right. It does not make you clever. It doesn't make you look intelligent. It doesn't mean you win.

Having the last word doesn't mean anything.

Mostly, you're just immature and annoying as hell, and not worth talking to.

STFU and go away until you have a clue.

Some pictures of my new baby boy Benny. I brought him home a week ago. He won a blue ribbon at the rat show! He got put into the big boy's cage this weekend and everyone's welcoming him with open hammock. He's taking good care of his Uncle Iggy right now.

He just died in my hands ten minutes ago.

I guess he just couldn't do it anymore between the pneumonia and heart failure.

( Algernon - 11/2007 to 10/4/2009 )

I'll miss you Nonny, and so will your brother and little nephews.

I have, actually. I had a friend who turned radical blathering pro-lifer and Neo-Conservative. I have friends who hold a bit of both views, which I think is really sad, but it's not something that's their be all and end all. This person...just no. I can't be friends with people that close-minded, stupid, and hateful.

A friend of mine (who asked not to be named) sent this to me and asked my opinion as both and Atheist and a Buddhist.

Source is found here: http://brettkeane.fliggo.com/video/u8n7CPQX

( Might Be Offensive Meme )

*DISCLAIMER: I'm not trying to offend people. This is about me and only me 'cause...this is my blog. I'm just a religion geek and found this kind of fun to do. It doesn't mean I'm out to get you, or actually give a rip about your beliefs. Whatever gets you through the day, man. Peace.

Oh yeah, and if you want to ask me questions or debate I'm cool with that too.

Our buyer rescinded their offer on the house. Apperantly our inspector was a dick and scared them off by padding the report...plus they didn't want to deal with the trees on the property. *eyerolls* Welcome to the Northwest. My brother is out busting his ass again to fix all this piddly crap that got called out on the inspection, and trying to work up for round two. Of course when you're selling or buying a house, it seems like every single scrap of paperwork has to be done within three days, and it's almost a full time job in itself just signing, signing, signing documents...then realizing you forgot a document and have to go all the way back to sign that one. Or something.

Of course, because the buyer rescinded we have to do it ALL OVER AGAIN.

Like I have time for this.

Nonny's pneumonia relapsed, so I restarted him on his meds. He's getting better again, but now his face is puffing up like a hamster. He's having a reaction to SOMETHING and I don't know what it is, and I need to go to the vet AGAIN on Saturday. I'd go earlier, but I have work to do and now I just hope he doesn't go into anaphylactic shock or something. Goddamnit.

Oh yeah, Saturday is the rat show when I'm supposed to pick up my new baby rattie...but with everyone sick I can't bring him home, so I need to find quarantine till my brood stops being sick. At least Harley and Iggy are doing fine right now, and hopefully they stay that way.

Work is just all over being a PITA. I'm trying to learn new processes which isn't going well because they are retardedly complicated and tedious when they don't need to be, and...gah. I'm too ticked to write about it.

My brain feels like it's taken a massive hit to the grey matter. There's just too much going on, and I'm having trouble concentrating on anything or retaining any sort of details. I forget what's said to me the minute it leaves someones mouth, and the simplest things are really impossible to comprehend. It's like my mind's gotten injured, so I'm running on dumber than normal, and everyone is noticing. Which is pissing me off. I can't afford for my brain not to function right now especially, and that's exactly what's happening.

Somebody stop my life, I want to get off.

Or give me some porn. That'll get me off too.

No, it wouldn't. Calories DON'T count anyway. That's the secret to having a healthy relationship with food and maintaining a healthy weight and body.

Shot for the moon, missed that, missed the stars, and just faceplanted into the dirt.

Not going to be able to get my own house this year.

Too much unpredictability legally with our mom's debts to pin it down, and I just really don't make enough to take care of a mortgage.

The good news is that failure doesn't mean it's over...only quitting is. I WILL get my house someday. I don't take "No" for an answer very well.

Last night my brother and I accepted an offer for full price on the house. We spent till 9:30 last night listening to offers and then doing loooooooots and lots of paperwork.

We'll see if there is anything that pops up on the inspection or anything, but it seems the buyers REAAAAAAALLY want the house.

So, there we go. It's almost over.

Our realtor said that by next week, I can start househunting for myself. O_O

I've started looking online and have emailed a mortage consultant to get in touch with me.

The only major hang up here is I might not be able to afford mortage payments on what I want because I don't make a heck of a lot of money. I don't want much. A little house in the country with peace and quiet and just a half acre or so of land for some chickens, goats, and a garden.

But if I can swing this and get an offer closed by the end of September, I can still get the first home buyer's credit.

My life is moving too fast for my brain to wrap around, but if you're the praying sort, pray for my dreams, and if you are not, cheer me on.

Very busy weekend. I stopped off at the Open House on the estate this weekend. There was never a moment where there weren't people filing in and out to look at it. I'm going over to the house this evening to review four offers that have been placed already. I'm going to meet with my bro and our realtor and see about picking on this evening.

On one hand, the amount of interest and these amount of offers already placed is nothing short of PHENOMENAL in this pitiful housing market. So this is really wonderful news. All my brother's hard work has really paid off. He's a miracle worker for certain. Our mother's mess is nearly cleaned up and set right.

Deep down though, I feel like a wounded Civil War soldier getting a gangrenous limb slowly sawn off.

To aid her depart I depart;
And on the blood-red battle plain
We'll conquer or we'll die,
'Tis for our honor and our name,
We raise the battle cry.

~ The Volunteer

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
Any unexpected one. But I'd say the phone bill. It's always got something unexpected on it.

2. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
Considering romance makes me want to gag and I pretty much never feel it, I can't answer this question. I know a bunch of places to go that caters to that kind of atmosphere though.

3. What do you really want to be doing right now?
Getting a massage, my hair done, and a full spa treatment to soft music.

4. What kind of car would you rather be driving?
If not my Volvo, a 2004 Pontiac Sunfire.

5. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?
Because it's comfortable.

6. What are your thoughts on gas prices?
A big rip off.

7. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
Since it was Sunday, it didn't.

8. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
My back hurts

9. Do you miss being a child?
Not in the slightest. My childhood was the worst time of my life.

10. What errand/chore do you despise?
Picking up items and figuring out where they go. I hate that.

11. Get up early or sleep in?
Sleep enough and get up early.

12. Have you found real love yet?
Yeah.

13. Favorite lunch meat?
Turkey!

14. What do you get every time you go into Target?
Dishware. They have great stuff!

15. Beach or lake?
Beach. Salt water, seaweed, and SEASHELLS! :D

16. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
Absolutely. The "sacredness" of it is a complete joke, and whenever someone tells me they are getting married, I think "Great. I'll help you move out when you divorced in six years."

17. Sopranos or Desperate Housewives?
Never watch them.

18. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
Alan Rickman. He'd be a good conversationalist. Either him, or Adam Copeland or Chris Irvine (wrestlers).

19. Have you ever crashed your vehicle?
Yeah, slightly. Ran it up on a divider in a parking lot.

20. Ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?
Yes, a couple of times.

21. Ring tone?
"Little Girls" by Oingo Boingo

22. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?
Work, I suppose.

23. Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go?
Hmmm. Nope, been everywhere in CA that I've actually wanted to go to down there.

24. Do you go to church?
Only for a good laugh.

25. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship?
A new career.

27. Do you have a go-to person?
Yup. Depending on what I need.

28. Are you where you want to be in life?
I guess so. It's not what I expected, but I can't think of anything better.

29. Growing up, what were your favorite cartoons?
He-Man, She-Ra, My Little Ponies, Wildfire, Rude Dog, Animaniacs, Tiny Tune Adventures, Freakazoid

30. What about you do you think has changed the most?
Everything. I'm a completely different person than I was as a kid, and I seem to get reinvented every few years.

31. Looking back at high school were they the best years of your life?
Actually, yeah. I loved high school. Strange, but I am one of those rare people who actually really enjoyed it.

32. Are there times you still feel like a kid?
Oh yeah. I get moments where I'm 8 years old again all the time.

33. Did you have a troll as a kid?
I think I had one on a ring that I got out of a plastic bubble from vending machine. But otherwise, no.

34. Did you have a pager?
Nope. My cell is sort of one, but not an actual pager.

35. Where was the hang out spot when you were a teenager?
The mall, I guess.

36. Were you the type of kid you would want your children to hang out with?
I guess so. I'm not having kids, but I wouldn't really have a problem if my hypothetical kids met a kid that resembled me at that age.

37. Who do you think impacted your life the most?
My mother. The impact was very negative, but in the process made me see who I really am.

38. Was there a teacher or authority figure that stood out for you?
Yeah. A bunch. One was Mr. Groom, my 4th Grade teacher. Tough, strict, but he was so sweet to me because I was at the Omega of the class. He didn't brook a lot of shit from students giving me a hard time. I <3 him.

39. Do you tell stories that start with "when I was your age"?
I've caught myself doing that a couple of times then couldn't continue the story because I horrified myself right out of remembering what I was going to say.

40. If you could change ONE thing about your life right now, what would it be?
Not selling my family home.

Still wrangling with the brood of sicky rittens, but everyone seems to be doing allright as they battle through the pneumonia. Nonny's getting better every day, and he's a lot more active, fatter, brighter eyed, and tired of laying around. So my relief is growing as he's getting better.

In other news, today would have been my mom's 66th birthday. Last year this day I came over with some more warm shirts for her as a present since the weather was getting colder. She was very appreciative.

Our family home is almost ready to go to sale. My bro has worked his fingers to the bone on that house and it looks AMAZING. It's jaw dropping the change it's made. I seriously think this is my brother's magnum opus of projects. He's performed nothing short of a miracle on that house. Last weekend I went out to help paint the trim on the windows and the front door. There was something very gratifying about watching the old, tired, worn and scratched paint dissapear underneath a fresh shining coat. It's got new life and looks like a home again instead of the tired, sick, squalor it was covered with nicotine and smelling of death.
It kills me that we're losing that house and we're never going to get to enjoy all the blood, sweat, and tears that was poured into it. At the same time, I feel a sense of peace knowing things have finally been put right and the house has finally been given the care it deserved.

Work has been busy as my job function is going to change. I still work at the same place, same job, but some of my ideas are coming to fruitation and my entire job function and the jobs of the rest of my team are changing to become more efficient. It's a feather in my cap for certain and I'm ecstatic to have something new, interesting, and different to do.

So Happy Birthday, Mom. Your kids are doing allright for themselves.

Nonny came home last night. He's improved enough he was able to be taken off oxygen. :)

He's on Doxy, Baytril, Metacam, and Furosemide.

And he needs to be nebulized three times a day with a mixture of Aminophylline, Mucomyst, and Gentamicine. I was relieved to see the vet rents these machines along with small aquariums you can hook them up to. I'm on the search to find one for myself.

The vet wants me to put Harley and Iggy in the chamber too once or twice daily since they seem to have started getting lethargic and it's starting to look like they caught it. The vet is waiting for the cultures to come back to see exactly what he's dealing with before he starts the other two on any AB's.

Oh, and he wants me to spoil Nonny rotten with whatever he will eat to bulk up his weight. Lots of wet food, juice, Gatorade, anything to keep him hydrated. The good news there is he's lovin' it and snarfing food like no tomorrow. He's put on quite a lot of weight so far and is filling out nicely. :)

I was worried about him last night, but he's looking pretty good this morning. Not breathing so hard, sitting up, ready for cuddles from mommy.

So wish me luck as nurse to my poor pneumonia ridden mischief. I've got everybody nebulizing right now before I head to work, and they aren't best pleased.

The vet's been keeping in touch with me. Nonny's got very severe infectious pneumonia, and 80% of lungs are filled with fluid and he's got a high white blood cell count.

I asked about the supposed "jaw infection" and there wasn't any more about that. So...I dunno, I'm still royally confused on that. O_o

BUT, they're treating him aggressively with antibiotics, have him on a nebulizer and oxygen, and he's perking up. He's comfortable, eating hardily, drinking, and getting up and walking around as much as he can. He's also enjoying being spoiled with pettings and treats by the vet staff. His lungs this morning sounded clearer.

He's not out of the woods yet, the next 24 hours will tell, but I'm taking that as an encouraging sign. I'll keep paying for whatever treatment is necessary for him. $700 vet bill so far. I'll put in some overtime this week.

I'll also be living on peanut butter this week because I can't buy groceries, but I don't mind if Nonny sticks around with me for a while longer.

The vet is still deciding on treating Iggy and Harley. They still seem fine, but have been muted and quiet today. They seem to be missing Nonny, and I'm hoping they aren't sick as well. Harley's breeder is hoping I'll enter him in the NW rat show. Apparently he's a show quality rat!

Also, thank you guys so much for all your kind words. I feel a lot better now and not so down on myself thinking I did something wrong with trimming Nonny's teeth.

And for happier news, I got pictures of my new baby boy I'll be getting on Sept. 26th today! He's also going to be entered in the rat show before he comes home with me. :)

( Dalmation Dumbos, oh my! )